open letter, pets

To My Cat With Cancer

My Dearest Buttercup,

 

The doctors tell me this is it. Your time is near. I’m angry, so very angry. They say that by the time you presented your disease, it was too late. It’s not fair. They say it was most likely a genetic predisposition, that logically there was nothing I could do to save you. Not, now. Not, then. Sure, there are treatment options, but the doctor assures me that they would only diminish what little quality of life you still have. I’m not ready to see the light go out in your eyes. It’s still there, I see it. I feel it. You’re not any more ready to let go at this point than I am. But we have time… A little, anyway. And I’m going to do my best to show you how much you mean to me.

 

I remember when you were just a kitten. So tiny you fit in the palm of my hand. Always ready to go, to explore, to climb, to be the cattiest cat you could be. And you were. Oh, God, you were. You used to climb up my legs like I was your own personal tree when you were just a tiny thing. Your claws hadn’t yet developed into the razor blades they would grow to be. It amused me, and made you happy. As they began to grow and sharpen, I had to break you and your siblings of that habit.

 

Do you remember walking through the woods? You always wanted to be high up. You climbed a tree and I was so scared you were going to get stuck, but you didn’t. You were so free, so happy that day. Whenever I called you, you would come romping back to me. You will have so many more days like that when you cross the bridge to what comes next. That is how I will picture you, how I will remember you.

 

You’ve always been a stubborn little thing, full of attitude. I love that about you. You were always sure of what you wanted, and found a way to get it, whatever it was.

 

But your heart is pure, molten gold. The heart of a lion, like your hero, Nala. Remember laying at the foot of the bed with Gizmo watching The Lion King? I don’t care what anyone says, you two would be glued to the movie any time I put it in. Afterwards, you would play- my little Nala and Simba. He’s going to miss you, too, ya know?

 

You’re my princess. You always have been. You always will be. I will miss you every day and I will remember you always. I will do my best to make the rest of your days as pleasant as I can and when you are ready, I will be with you, helping you cross the Rainbow Bridge.

 

All my love, now and always.

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